Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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