i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
