Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
