My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Randomize
