also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
