This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
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