After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
