Porn is love you can see.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Randomize
