Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Woke up backwards on a recliner
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
