i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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