i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
