Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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