She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize
