Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
