i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
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