remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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