People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
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