Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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