we have pet lesbian snakes
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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