I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
