Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Randomize
