i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
false alarm. still invincible.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Randomize
