you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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