Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
