Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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