the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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