so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
