Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
