i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
