I feel like I'm in dance class right now
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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