It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
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