is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
