You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
