can u get pink eye on your cock?
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
