I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
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