let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
