trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
