So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
