yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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