No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
our cab driver is having phone sex.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
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