And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
