Duck Duck Cougar?
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
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