dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
where are my eyebrows?
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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