And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
