we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Randomize
