dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
