shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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