you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
