the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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