I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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