i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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