no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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