Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
