were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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