There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
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